"pain hurts like a cut from a beautiful knife..." #unforgettable

2010-11-24T18:17:00.000-08:00

my OG told me never run back, never show too much feelings.. i should've hid my feelings cuz now i wouldn't feel robbed. It's one thing 2 say u love sumbody, but it's another 2 prove it. I ain't goin' into too much detail about this one cuz i'm 2 the point of wud we call "rapped out." Just know, for this girl, I've already done the #unthinkable. To this day she thinks we were equal in effort & that is why we could never be acquaintances. But i lost my taste 4 love b/c a girl that i invested time into for 2 years, ended up in another man's bed in less than a week, and in lust w/ a WHOLE other man in less than a month.. we both lusted beyond eachother, but i got the chance 2 make it up.. after doing so, we made a turning point, & she lusted. but i ain't have it in me 2 let her make it up cuz i was ALWAYS getting scrutinized 4 my mistakes up until then! Females are so selfish, naive, and unstable.. ain't really no more relationships 4 me anymore, unless da bxtch is #amazing.. i won't even commit if she's anything less! i know this deep, down in my heart. But my fear isn't staying single 4 a lifetime. My fear is that females have let themselves go so far that there aren't many who respect themselves enuff. I truly enjoyed this pain b/c it taught me so much.. but sorry Rhianna, i don't like the way anyone lies...

You tell me u love me, but u don't want me back and u can't leave me alone. You wonder why we can't be acquaintances. Real niggas can admit their mistakes & keep it pushing.. i did my dirt, i made u suffer, then i tried 2 make it better.. i didn't put in all that work, make all those sacrifices, explain all those times, & put up w/ your other flaws 2 be betrayed by the one thing u knew i couldn't tolerate.. now let me be free... Promise i'll never do it again, that's y i won't commit unless i truly feel she's WORTH the trouble. Until then, i'm single swaggin'. 4 all the females who call all niggas dogs, and 2 say all niggas ain't real, i want ya'll 2 beat her ass if u see her cuz she fxccin' everything up EVEN MORE. ppl who take ppl like me 4 granted need their ass beat, they spoiled.

i'ma dedicate dis one 2 my nigga B.. Rest in Peace #westside

2010-11-24T17:33:00.000-08:00

The Story

After i graduated, the summer of '09 was my return 2 my stomping grounds: #westside St. Louis.

California was bomb, but it ain't got shxt on my city-- them smoke sessions, missions, hoods, parties, fashion, trends, slang, etc. it's all something i'm used 2. In Cali they got their own shxt and to each it's own, but I can't get with all of their trends. I couldn't wait 2 get back home 2 my real friends. I started off talking to Reggie, but after upgrading, I reunited with my nigga B.. 2 catch up & take over the west. Bruh was on his shxt too, baby ku$h was goin' fast.. but on the night b4 Halloween, was the last night i saw my westhead.. who would've known it would've really been my last! Rumors tell that another classmate from our old hiskool was "playing" with Brian's pistol or supposedly trying 2 get the bullets out.. but there's one big flaw in that story-- the whole time it was aimed at his chest? I also hear that his body was found with just the id and nothing else.. but me knowing my nigga after he left my spot, he was missing 2 types of green... #friendsturnintobusters

5/14/1990 - 10/30/2009

"Rest in peace Fly boy, yea that was my boy, wait 4 me in the sky boy..."

The Conclusion

i know they say that when u die, eventually u are forgotten, but this person is #unforgettable... my goon was a true friend, and that's actually saying a lot (considering how scarce those are now days). Throughout highskool, i made a few friends & alotta frenemies. Never knew friends could be so fake, until sumbody showed me what a real friend was-- Someone who NEVER switched up on u, judged u, and always helped u (even if it was their last).. that is a true friend... From the funeral alone, I found out that my nigga took his girlfriend 2 church and got her baptized, and was closer 2 God than anyone ever knew, because usually christians try 2 FORCE their religion on u.. What kind of person gets up everyday and goes job hunting with a smile on their face no matter how much they get rejected? All my nigga did was try 2 get it, that's y we came 2 the point we're at.. but i learned so much from this loss, but it hurts more than anything 2 know the realest nigga i ever knew got taken from me so early. I take it that God gave us Brian as an example of a role model, and took him away so that we can change our dark ways and all become better friends. It taught me how 2 appreciate what I have now, even tho it hurts 2 drive past my homie crib right around the corner. Words couldn't explain the pain i feel from this tragedy, i just know i pray everyday and tell God that we miss u...

they told me "Get it together Lo!".. i'm trying! outta all the niggas 2 go, why Brian?

i swear i blew my own brains out until i found a better understanding..

but now i'ma always go hard 4 my niggas... #nowplaying T.i. - Live In the Sky

Loyalty Over Love

"pain hurts like a cut from a beautiful knife..." #unforgettable

i'ma dedicate dis one 2 my nigga B.. Rest in Peace #westside